Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives Spec Script

BURGER

The following is a a spec script I wrote for one of my favorite television programs: Guy Fieri’s Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.  Let me know what you think, and if anyone knows Guy or his people, please forward this along!  Thanks!

EXT. CALIFORNIA STREET – DAY

A cherry-red, vintage Camaro leisurely makes its way down a sunny California street. Its driver, GUY FIERI, a badass dude in a black bowling shirt and a truly wicked pair of sunglasses.

His platinum blonde hair, meticulously spiked, remains motionless despite the wind.

He addresses the camera.

GUY
Hi, I’m Guy Fieri, and we’re rolling out looking
for America’s greatest diners, drive-ins, and dives.

The car accelerates, exiting the frame. ROCKABILLY MUSIC plays. WHOOSH.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

RICK HALTERMAN, restaurant owner and cook, stands next to Guy. He pours a dark liquid from a measuring cup over an uncooked pork shoulder.

RICK HALTERMAN
The secret ingredient is actually cherry cola.

Guy looks at the camera, incredulous. WHOOSH.

CUT TO:

INT. DINING AREA – DAY

A CUSTOMER sits at a table. A plate of freshly prepare food in front of her.

CUSTOMER
Everything here just has that little twist that really makes it special.

WHOOSH.

MONTAGE

Various meals being plated and prepared.

GUY (V.O.)
(shouting)
This little restaurant is doing things big and bold with some
truly unexpected flavor combos. Just the way I like it!

END MONTAGE

CUT TO:

EXT. RESTAURANT – DAY

Guy slams the door of his convertible. He saunters toward the entrance of the restaurant and addresses the camera.

GUY
There’s your typical small-town diner, then there’s places like Rick’s in
Pescadero, California. People travel from all over the country to try their new
spins on old classics.

ROCKABILLY MUSIC plays.

WHOOSH.

MONTAGE

More food. People eating food.

END MONTAGE

INT. KITCHEN – DAY 

Guy stands amongst the pots and pans next to Rick Halterman. His sunglasses are now on the back of his head.

GUY
So, tell me a little about yourself, Rick.
RICK HALTERMAN
Well, I used to be a parking garage attendant until about two years ago,
then I opened this place, and the rest is history.
GUY
Haha! Alright, what are we making here today?
RICK HALTERMAN
I’m preparing my Southwestern Pulled Pork Po’ Boy.

Guy looks at the camera, as if to say, “Oh mama!”

MONTAGE

Rick prepares the food. Guy makes funny comments and eats things he’s not supposed to.

END MONTAGE

RICK HALTERMAN
And here we go. Our number one seller. Take a bite,
and tell me what you think.

Guy picks up the massive sandwich and takes a huge bite. His eyes roll back in his head. He nods.

GUY
(mouth full)
That’s money.
RICK HALTERMAN
I knew you’d like it.
GUY
Rick, this is a killer sandwich. You’ve got the pork, those
southwest flavors…the crunch of the bread.

Rick starts to laugh. Guy slowly stops chewing.

GUY
What’s up, bud?
RICK HALTERMAN
Everything’s falling into place. I knew if I made a sandwich
that was both big AND big on flavor that some day
you would come, and I was right.

Guy starts to back away. He reaches for the door behind him, and jiggles the handle.

RICK HALTERMAN
The doors are locked.
(walking forward)
You see, two years ago I opened this restaurant and created
a menu full of fusion foods with bold, popping flavors. Pepperoni Egg Rolls.
Smoked salmon and waffles. Vietnamese Bolognese. And then I waited.

Guy GULPS.

Rick Halterman (CONT’D)
And now you’re here. You’ve fallen right into my Guy Fieri trap. And now…

Rick Halterman picks up a long, shiny knife from the countertop.

RICK HALTERMAN (CONT’D)
I’m going to kill you.
GUY
(under his breath)
Aw, shit.

Guy snaps his head forward, and his sunglasses whip around from the back of his head, landing in place.

He brings his fingers to his mouth, and WHISTLES.

An engine REVS.

Rick Halterman spins around, but it’s too late. Guy’s red Camaro bursts through the wall behind him, crushing him instantly.

The Camaro HONKS twice, as if to say hello, and flashes its headlights. Guy grins.

GUY
Boy, am I glad to see you.

Guy slides across the hood of the car like the true badass he is. He hops into the driver’s seat and REVS the engine.

He puts the car in drive, and the wheels, wet with Rick Halterman’s blood, spin and SQUEAL on the tile floor.

Guy does doughnuts with his Camaro, destroying kitchen and spraying the walls with blood.

The car crashes through the opposite wall and drives into the sunset.

The THEME FROM HIGHLANDER plays.

5 responses to “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives Spec Script

  1. I know this is ages old, but I’m just finding it now and if that ever actually happened on DDD, I would have it programmed into my DVR years ago. This is beautiful.

  2. Pingback: Guy Fieri: the greatest celebrity chef of all time | CookyWook's Blog·

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