Jacket Blurbs For My First Novel

“The kind of book you just cannot read on the train!  Due in small part to the laughs, and in large part to the erections.”

“The Ulysses of readable novels.”

“The only thing that could make this book better is if the binding was graham cracker, and the pages were chocolate and marshmallow.”

“He very literally creates pictures with his words.  Like this one: 8===D.”

“Winfrey provides about 25 blank pages at the back of the book, which are intended to be used in the event that you run out of toilet paper while reading the book, and trust me, you will.”

“The only thing more remarkable than Winfrey’s prose is his wife’s big naturals.”

“Reading Winfrey’s work, you cannot help but get the sense that the author is attractive, charming, and witty, so much so that the 189 racial slurs he uses throughout his novel are easily overlooked.”

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