Conspiracy Theory

GUNS

What do the assassination of John F. Kennedy and the assassination of Abraham Lincoln nearly one hundred years earlier have in common?  To the average person, the only similarity would seem to be that they were both assassinated during their presidency, but there’s one vital link that has been overlooked.  Until now.

Let me explain.  On April 15, 1865, both John Wilkes Booth and Abraham Lincoln attended the play Our American Cousin.  During the third act, Booth crept up behind the president and shot him in the back of the head with a gun. 

Fast forward, ninety eight years, JFK rides through the parade in his political motorcade, waving at the adoring public.  Meanwhile, Lee Harvey Oswald sits in the sixth floor of the Book Depository, waiting to attack.  His weapon of choice?  You guessed it.  A gun.

How deep does this conspiracy go?  Deep.

December 8th, 1980: John Lennon is killed while returning to his New York City hotel room.  The cause of death?  Gun related injuries.

April 4th, 1968: Martin Luther King Jr. is killed while standing on the balcony of his second floor motel room.  An autopsy revealed several small pieces of metal lodged in his body which seemed to be projected at an explosive force.  Are you really going to make me say it?  A gun!

June 28th, 1914: Archduke of Austria Franz Ferdinand is killed while riding in an open-top car.  His assassination is widely considered the inciting incident of World War I.  He was poisoned.  No, he wasn’t poisoned.  That was a joke.  He was shot.  With a gun.

History is filled with examples like this, all you have to do is ask yourself, how far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?

Infamous serial killer Jack The Ripper terrorized the streets of London in the late 1800s.  His victims often had their throats slit, and their organs removed.  Sounds like the work of a typical knife-wielding maniac, right?  Wrong.  It takes just a moment of consideration to see very simply that a gun fired across the throat would be more than capable of creating such a wound.  As for the incisions in the abdomen, is it really so hard to imagine they were created by several shots fired in a vertical line?  I think not.

“Et tu, Brute?”  The famous last words uttered by a bloodied Julius Caesar after being betrayed by a group of senators.  The autopsy report explains that Caesar’s death was the result of blood loss from multiple stab wounds.  I do not think I’m the first person to propose that perhaps Caesar’s attackers used guns, rather unconventionally, to stab their victim to death.

The story of guns isn’t all assassinations and murders though, because you see, the very planet we live on has been shaped by guns.  Take the Grand Canyon for example.  Undoubtedly one of the greatest wonders of the world, the Grand Canyon, scientists will tell you, was gradually shaped over time by erosion from water and wind.  I don’t know if you’ve seen a rock lately, but in my experience, water and wind aren’t going to do anything to it.  You know what would though?  Bullets, and lots of them.

Look, I’m not trying to tell you how to think or what to believe.  I’m simply pointing out some pretty undeniable facts that once you see, you’ll never be able to not see.  Be careful out there, and remember, if you hear a sudden loud noise, accompanied by a piercing pain somewhere on your body, look down, because you may just be the next victims of the Gun.

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